You Cannot Love Others Until You Love Yourself

All You Need Is Love

Love. I believe that The Beatles were right when they sang that “all you need is love.”  Why then, does it elude so many of us?

It’s because love is a verb.

 love is a verb.  It’s not something we get… it’s something we do.  
Love is a choice – and a realization – put into action.

Love Is A Verb

The reason many of us don’t get the love we are seeking is that love is not something we get, period. It isn’t something we seek.  It doesn’t come to us, nobody can ‘give’ it to us, and we certainly don’t fall into (or out of) it. Love isn’t something “out there” that you need to fill something that is missing inside of you.  If it were, it would imply that you are less than complete. Less than whole.  That is not the case! There may be times when you feel that this may be true, but let me assure that it is not. You are of an infinite worth…. and nothing outside (or even inside) of you can ever change that.

Yes, love is a verb.  It’s not something we get… it’s something we do.  Love is a choice – and a realization – put into action.

We can’t make the choice before we have the realization, though.  We can try, but it doesn’t work… It is impossible to love others until you fully love yourself.

True self-love means accepting & embracing every part of you, not just the ones you aspire to, or the ones that other people compliment you on. True self-love is knowing who you are, regardless of what others think. It is embracing the shadows, as well as the sunshine.

First, Love Yourself

The realization that we must come to is that you are worthy of loving yourself in every way imaginable. You are complete, whole, divine and perfectly as you were meant to be. You are unique in the world, just as you should be, and are of an infinite worth. You are no less than anyone on this planet and are fully deserving of every gift & blessing that exists.  You must love yourself…. this is the realization that you must have.

Loving yourself isn’t just about saying to yourself “I am good enough, I accept myself.” Loving yourself isn’t about just seeing potential in yourself. Loving yourself is about digging deep and arriving at a place where you are completely filled, to overflowing, with gratitude and appreciation for who you are.  True self-love means accepting & embracing every part of you, not just the ones you aspire to, or the ones that other people compliment you on. True self-love is knowing who you are, regardless of what others think. It is embracing the shadows, as well as the sunshine.  It is accepting the parts of you that you are ashamed of & afraid of and loving them. They are a part of who you are, and who you are is perfect.

When you catch a glimpse of your divinity, you become unshakable in your self-esteem. Insecurity & arrogance fall away completely. You no longer need reassurance from others because you know it, you feel it, you live it.  You have a full cup. In fact, it overflows.

You Cannot Love Others Until You Love Yourself

Once you arrive at this realization, you are empowered to love others. Yes, love is a choice to uphold others in their greatness.  Love is desiring the best for others, and acting upon that desire. Until we have this realization, we are unable to love others. We can say it, we wish it, we can yearn for it… but trying to love others without completely loving yourself is like trying to fill someone’s glass with an empty pitcher.  It is impossible.

Actually, without this realization we are not only unable to love others as they deserve, we are unable to receive love. As Stephen Chbosky points out, “we accept the love we think we deserve.”  Until you realize that you are worthy & deserving of an abundance of love, you will not receive it. It won’t matter if someone crosses your path who is able to give it, you won’t receive it because you are unable to receive it.

To make the choice to love others, we must first love ourselves and be free to love. We must remove all the limitations from our mind & heart that would hinder us selflessly caring for others. We need to be in a state of peace, before we can offer love to others.

May you have this realization of your own greatness, and may you pour it out on all those you meet…